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Expectations are a reality for all people. When expectations are met and exceeded, we find ourselves pleased or rewarded. When expectations are not met, we can be frustrated or penalized. We have expectations for how we will be raised. We have expectations for the type of schools we go to and the kinds of teams we play on or cheer for. We have expectations to be paid for a job well done and expectations that those we pay will show up and do the job well. We have expectations for our spouses, our children, our grandchildren, and our extended families. We have expectations for the kinds of friends we attract and the kind of friends we become.


When I do marital or pre-marital counseling, we often talk about one of the greatest stressors in relationships which is unmet and unspoken expectations. Our own life experiences dramatically impact our expectations either because we want more of what we had or because we want something far different. I hear wives talk about their expectation that toilet seats would be put down, trash would be taken out, dirty clothes would be put in the laundry basket, and empty items would be thrown out rather than put back in the refrigerator, cabinets, or drawers. Individually, these are minor frustrations, but collectively they mount to overarching feelings of being taken advantage of and taken for granted. I also hear husbands talk about their expectation that they would be respected and appreciated for the things they do and the ways they do them.


There are lots of expectations for both men and women in marriages, but the expectations vary based on gender, age, and culture. A recent Pew research poll found that the top five values expected from men are honesty/morality, professional/financial success, ambition/leadership, strength/toughness, and hard work/good work ethic. The top five values expected from women are physical attractiveness, empathy/nurturing/kindness, intelligence, honesty/morality, ambition/leadership. We can feel pressured or affirmed by the expectations placed upon us.


This Sunday, we kick off a brand-new sermon series entitled “Relationship Goals.” In this series we will unpack three key factors of building lasting relationships. These are certainly key ingredients for healthy and dynamic marriages, but they are also relatable for those who are single (or single again) in this season of life. I hope and expect to see you and that you will invite friends and family to join us as we continue to share the heart of Christ in the heart of our community.

8:45am Contemporary Service

Contemporary Bulletin 051924
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11:00am Traditional Service

Traditional Bulletin 051924
Download PDF • 464KB

Swedenburg Baptism Liturgy
Download PDF • 98KB

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